Knock-knock

Who's there?
Diff mount (thanks to wise folks at MyE28.com for helping to pinpoint the problem).

Symptoms: heavy sharp knocking sound when sharply dropping off the gas, or accelerating in reverse.

Cause: rubber in the diff mount (part #33171125290) has split apart.

Advice given: don't replace it with the same part (around $200 today), replace it with part #33171129786 (around $80 today), rationale being, quote:

If you replace your diff mount three times in the same time it takes for the 535 one to break, you break even. Chances are you won't be doing that. In fact, I'd be very surprised if that was in fact the case. -- ck"

It is interesting, though, that the part that failed seems to be that very part, not the original #33171125290. If that's the case (will know for sure when the part arrives), it's time to start counting.

Cheap[er] Oil

Mobil 1 High Mileage engine oil:

• Froogle: about $7.99 + shipping per quart
• Checkers: $6.99 + tax per quart
• Walmart Super Center: about $20 + tax per gallon.

Just don't go changing your oil at Walmart - though if you're reading this, you're probably safe.

Funny, Walmart worker I asked about how many quarts are in a gallon thinks there are five. Figures.

REPLACE FASTENERS!!!

Lesson learned the hard way (one, two, three):

• Either plan on replacing fasteners and grommets that are in your way;
• Or remove and inspect them before ordering replacement parts.

It's the tradeoff between your money and your time (which is, by the way, also your money, and also non-renewable, unlke money).

Latter practically means doing the job twice and in some places that means risking weakening parts that are extremely expensive or troublesome to replace (trailing arms, engine covers, head and body), so just bite the bullet and buy extra fasteners and grommets. They may not be cheap, but at least you won't be caught unprepared with your car non-driveable, or have to do the job twice.

Pitman Arms

I mean, what's there to do - unscrew four bolts, screw them back on, right?

Wrong.

Maybe so if that's the car you've owned from the day one. Then you may probably get away with just the pair of dogbones like this.

Not so if that car is used, or should I say pre-owned, or should I say pre-<censored>-up. In that case you're likely to find, say, a missing washer or two (part #33311125916), or a destroyed bolt (part #07119914848).



So either you spend more cash on the complete set with fasteners like this, or you're going to be running around looking for bolts and washers anyway.

It's up to you to decide what's more expensive - about $50 in price (that's the difference between the pair of arms and pair of complete sets) or the most non-renewable resource that you have in your life - your time. Plus some money on missing/bad parts, of course.

One more thing: dogbones that have gone bad (picture on top) look identical to new ones, made by Karlyn. I don't know how much time does the metal need to go dark and gloomy in a hot and dry climate, but the old dogbones look very, very new and shiny after so much as being dipped into white spirit and cleaned lazily with a toothbrush. Rubber on them is absolutely thrashed, though - look at the big picture. I have no clue whether the new parts are any good or not, but you bet that if they aren't, you'll see the update here as soon as I find them going bad. For now, though, I'd say that if I had to make a decision again, I would've gone with the more expensive complete kit.

UPDATE: The story is far from over. Check out this thread at MyE28.com, and take a close look at this picture:

The Pipe Is Back

Even better than before - now it's got three hangers, as it is supposed to. Oh, and it's no longer sideways - damn, I thought that it was supposed to be that way, and it actually looked kinda cool :)



The whole thing looks horrible, though. Good time to start budgeting for new exhaust system.

Dude, Where's My Pipe?

If not for Joe The Neighbour who took a moment to look up from figuring out why his Ferrari is consuming so much oil and angrily spitting it outside through exhaust pipes (impressive sight indeed), we would've ended up with a very, very expensive repair - all the exhaust system at least, and quite possibly the catalyst as well, would've most probably ended up being torn away and eager to meet the lucky road traffic participant following this car, for there was one hanger remaining - the right one. The other (left) hanger was long gone by the time the exhaust pipe was inspected for the first time.



Alas, big disaster was diverted, and for now the temporary fix is in place (about $10 in parts and couple of hours of procuring right parts). Permanent fix is coming Fridaydone.

Front Brakes: Good News, Bad News

Following up on brake bleeding session...

Good news is that there's more than enough brake pads, and apparently rotors left. Bad news is that the wear sensor (part #34351179819) is broken (best guess is that whoever changed the pads broke the new sensor and decided to cover it up) and needs to be replaced. Pity - it's a $5 part, and labor involved in checking it and installing a new one is much more than that.

Other bad news is that the ABS sensor cable (part #34521154044) seems to be going (aging insulation is falling apart) and will have to be replaced soon.

Still need to take a look at the rear brakes - don't remember seeing the wear sensor there, either.

RMeuropean delivery: wow, I'm impressed

Ordered two Pitman arms (part #33321126476) from rmeuropean.com at 13:30 local time yesterday. At 11:30 local time today the package was at the door.

That's the shortest shipment time ever. Wow.

Oh Noes! The Clutch Is Gone... And Back

...now have to figure out what's the cause, and how it is related to yesterday's brake bleeding session.

Master cylinder is the main suspect until the morning sun comes.

UPDATE: Just air in the system, nothing more. Bled the hell out of it while identifying the issue - it's not immediately obvious where the intake hose is, and it's easy to suck the air into the clutch system unless you're watching the fluid level in the main reservoir. For the reference, a safe volume from the maximum level to the level you have to stop at is about 8 fl oz, or 200ml.

Before you set out to bleed the clutch, you may want to check if you need to replace the bleeder screw (part #21521116360), and whether the dust cap (part #21521102908) is in place - will save you some grief.

It is possible to use a vacuum bleeder to bleed the clutch, even though this is not a recommended way - you will most probably have to unscrew the bleeder screw completely (there will not be a massive leak), wrap it into teflon tape and screw it back (thanks to mooseheadm5 for the advice) - otherwise you'll be sucking air through the bleeder screw thread.

While you're there, you might just as well take off the slave cylinder and push the air out of it. Don't have the pedal all the way up when you're installing the slave cylinder back, you won't be able to overcome the resistance of the clutch release spring and put the nuts back.

Wonderful Discoveries of Brake Bleeding

When you bleed the brakes for the first time on the car you've just bought, don't be surprised if the brake pad wear sensor cable is neatly tucked under the bleeder valve cap tie. All of it. Including the sensor. Apparently, no participation in the actual process of measuring the brake pad wear was deemed necessary by the last person that changed the brake pads on the car.

Makes me desperately want to check the brake pads and rotors' thickness, despite seller's passionate assurances that they've been *just* replaced.

All You Have To Do Is Ask Nicely

Shopping for the next batch of parts for the Bucket List, found a bizarre fact - one seller (names withheld to protect the guilty) had outrageously high shipping price for quite an ordinary bulk item, even though the unit price for the item was about as half as it was in other places. Given that shipping price, it didn't make any sense whatsoever to buy from them, even though every single item in the batch also was priced below the competition.

Well, I thought, it doesn't get any worse, I thought, and called them. Explained the situation, and guess what? They corrected the shipping price, turned out to be a misunderstanding.

All in all, I am probably going to order from a different retailer (those guys do have very high shipping prices on all items and that totally offset savings on unit price), but the rule of the thumb still stays true:

Sometimes, all you have to do is ask nicely.

Fun Facts: Chemical Compatibility

Standard issue surgical gloves are transparent for mineral spirits. If a job you're doing is your first time, or you're just tired and forgetful or simply careless and are not listening to what your skin is telling you, you may end up with chemical burns. Not fun.

By the way, WD-40 is 50% mineral spirits as well.

Drive Axles Are Back

One hiccup down the road - almost got a heart attack when I saw the pit. Then I realized that it's been there since June 1987, exhaled and kept going. The rest was uneventful, except for a little chemical surprise.

PARTS

4 repair kits (part #33219067906), $60.

MATERIALS

Odorless mineral spirits.

RESULT



NOTES

Before you start disassembly, you might want to carefully examine mounting bolt (part #07119919620) heads for damage - and that's really difficult to do while they are still on the car, for they are probably buried under a healthy layer of baked oil and dirt. Might save yourself some aggravation and order them upfront - the cost, even for the complete set ($25-$50 plus delivery), is marginally comparable to the effort to repeat the procedure, or to the aggravation of having a bolt head stripped while trying to torque it in.

Oh, and it goes without saying that you'd want to see if you also need to replace the diff gaskets while the drive axles are off, but that significantly extends the maintenance window - so we had to skip on it this time.

The Bucket List

UPDATE

All the stuff below is irrelevant, superseded by the fact that the car's been totaled and is being parted. Nevertheless, it's been left in to give some more information about the state of the car (most of it survived).

---

Like the blog subtitle says, we're cleaning up 22 years of neglect. This is the current list of found and fixed problems, somewhat prioritized. Updated as the work progresses. Prices, if listed, reflect the actual amount paid and are not necessary optimal - sometimes, time considerations were more important than cost savings.

DONE

• Replace hood mechanism
• Replace broken turn signals lens (part #63131386611)
• Flush coolant system, 2009/04/16 @203,500mi
  
• Replace diff fluid with known good (Mobil 1 LS 75W-90), 2009/04/16 @203,500mi
  
• Replace engine oil with known good (Mobil 1 10W-40 High Mileage), 2009/04/23 @203,787mi
• Replace accelerator cable, 2009/04/24
• Remove ugly "got bmw?" sticker
• Replace CV joint boots (torn), repair kit bellows (part #33219067906), 2009/04/24
  
• Replace tires (bought the car with three 200/60R15 and one 195/65R15, with surprisingly little effect on stability - the car must've been very well engineered in order to withstand such abuse) - Yokohama AVS ES100, 2009/05/01 @204,205mi
• Flush brake system - 2009/05/19 @204,875
• Flush clutch - 2009/05/23
• Apply a temporary fix for a broken exhaust pipe hanger - 2009/05/31
• Permanently fix broken off exhaust pipe hangers (welded back) - 2009/06/05
• Replace Pitman arms (part #33321126476) - 2009/06/20 @205,911
• Replace diff mount (original part #33171125290, replacement part #33171129786) - 2009/09/29 @210,960
• Replace engine oil with known good (Mobil 1 10W-40 High Mileage), 2009/10/11 @211,684mi
• Replace right low beam insert (part #63121373061), 2009/10/22
  

IN PROGRESS

• Nothing
  

PENDING

• Replace cruise control cable
• Replace all differential gaskets (leaking), gasket set (part #33101210518)
• Replace front brake pad wear sensor (part #34351179819)
  
• Check rear brake pad and rotor thickness
  
• Verify that brake calipers are not sticking, lubricate and replace if necessary
  
• Identify the cause of power steering fluid leakage and fix it
• Identify the cause of transmission leakage and fix it
• Replace transmission fluid with known good
  
• Fix the driver door lock (see if the part #51219061341 is what's needed to fix it)
  
• Replace worn out front suspension parts
• Check rear suspension and see what needs to be done
• Replace spark plugs
• Clean the distributor
• Check ignition wiring, replace if necessary
  
• Replace Service Interval Board
• Bring Check Control back to life
  
• Pass emissions test (unlikely)
• Replace exhaust system (part #18121178263)
• Replace exhaust pipe catalyst (part #11769059153)
• Verify that the oil pan gasket (part #11131315085) is not leaking
• Verify that the oil level sensor is not leaking
  
• Keep an eye on right rear view mirror - may be falling out
• Keep an eye on ABS sensors (part #34521154044, 34521155709 and 34521155710) - cable insulation is aging and falling apart
  

NICE TO HAVE

• Replace broken oil filter housing (part #11421266372)
  
• Replace stupid fake carbon fiber black-and-white roundels with proper blue-and-white ones
  
• Replace driver window "up" button (works intermittently) (part #61311381205)
• Replace sunroof deflector mechanism
• Replace broken fog light (preferably both, for the other one is also worn) (part #63121468224)
• Implement the wimpy brake light fix
• Fix all dents, repaint
• Replace all mouldings that need replacement
• Replace all seals that need replacement
• Replace broken interior panels
• Replace headliner
  
• Look under sheepskins, fight gag reflex, replace upholstery
• Replace dashboard (part #51451872376)
• Replace aftermarket audio system speakers with disgusting sound with something decent - or rip the aftermarket audio system out completely - who needs to listen to anything while driving E28?
• Rip out stupid (allegedly Ferrari) horn that sits in the middle of the engine compartment and interferes with engine access; verify that OEM horn is operational and connect it instead
• Find a suitable cover for the place where no longer necessary front bumper registration plate (part #51181855952) was
• Replace squealing AC Blower (part #64111354618 or 64111386369)
• Replace trunk lid torsion springs (part #51241919481 and #51241919482), it appears that the spoiler is not an original part and the trunk lid doesn't pop up by itself - or, the springs are just too old
  

Things to watch for: Throttle Control Cables

Symptoms: aberrations in throttle response and cruise control behavior.
Alternate symptoms: zip ties holding control cables to bracket 65711369784.

Parts to replace:

• Cruise Control Cable (#65711370164), $26.43 at the dealer (BMWCCA discount included)
• Accelerator Cable (#35411153001), $27.29
• Rubber grommet (part #35411152331), optional
• Bearing (see below), optional
  

In case someone forgot, here's the main reason NEVER to use zip ties in the car: in a very few years, they become brittle and shatter, sometimes upon a slightest touch. The hotter the climate, the faster it happens.

ACCELERATOR CABLE


Described in sufficient details in E28 Bentley Manual (17:16). A few details beyond that:

• You might want to replace the grommet (part #35411152331), for it is also rubber and old. In case you forget, it's not that difficult to do afterwards, too.
• Follow Bentley Manual instructions to release that grommet literally - it looks like it'll come out easier in the other direction, it won't.
  
• In order to get the old cable out and new in, you'll have to unravel a bunch of wires and hoses it is in the middle of. Get some ties to but it back together (no zip ties, remember?)
  
• While doing that, take a look at water tank expansion tank to breather pipe hose (part #17121119294 - mine fell apart as I touched it.
• Take a look at the bearing (part #13541747519, but yours may be different) - it is plastic, and most probably has become brittle by now.

CRUISE CONTROL CABLE

Coming soon

What does "shiftless" mean?

Which answer is correct?

• Automobile lacking third (clutch) pedal, automatic transmission
  
• Lacking or characterized by lack of ambition or initiative
  

See for yourself...

Nice parallel, isn't it?

Close Encounters Of TRX Kind

If you don't know what the Google search on bmw trx wheels going to turn up, you haven't done your homework. I thought I did.

Then I had to face them in real life - like I mentioned before, three tires were 200/60R15, the fourth was 195/65R15, and the spare was 200/60VR390. The question I asked myself (being, as usual, overly paranoid) was - how the hell do I know if the wheels with R15 tires on them are indeed R15 wheels?

Two answers:

First, gotta look at the markings on those wheels. Sometimes, you have to take the cover off, sometimes not:



Second, compare them against known BMW wheel styles (either look it up in a catalog or search if that link is broken).

And, of course, nothing works better than a asking the question on mye28.com - just make sure you do your homework first. Sometimes, if you're really thorough, you won't even have to go there :)

Buying a used car...

... is like waking up with somebody after a smashing party last night: yesterday, the brain seemed to function just fine, but you just look at those crooked teeth, flaking makeup and dirt under fingernails!!!

E28 Hood Mechanism Replacement Caveats

Apparently, broken handle of the hood mechanism is a common problem for E28.

Replacement is almost straightforward.

The mechanism (part #51231868556 for US vehicles) is still available from BMW.

What is not immediately obvious, though, is that it would be a good idea to replace the nipple (part #51231872968) and the grommet (part #61138460102 or #61218050550) at the same time - there's a good chance that the nipple is broken or about to break like this, and the rubber grommet has deteriorated enough to warrant replacement.

In my case, part #51231881741 did not need to be replaced. Honestly, even the main cable (part #51231868559) was just fine, it was the left and right catch (#51231876997 and #51231876998) that were bogged down with dirt beyond reason, but alas, you can't buy just the handle.

Be careful removing lower instrument panel cover - there are two connectors on it. Careful with the screws when you put it back - some screws go into plastic, which is most probably already cracked.

What This Is All About

E28 535i, born June 1987, 203k miles on the clock and counting.

Every car has a story. This car has a difficult one - five previous owners, apparently, quite strained by expenses necessary for proper maintenance - and gullible enough to install the idiot magnet all-wonderful Fuel Miser.

Quite a few things I missed when we were about to buy it - most embarrassingly, the fact that the hood mechanism was broken, and no less astonishing fact that the tires on the car were different (three 205/60R15, fourth 195/65R15, and the notorious TRX spare, 200/60VR390 - yes, 22 years old).

Yes, it's a difficult car to love - imagine what 22 years of neglect can do. However, my daughter put it best - "But you don't get rid of your kids just because they're retarded, right?"

So far, the plan is to love it. And document the specific acts of love here, for those crazy enough to agree that E28 is something to love, and make it easier for them to love it properly.